Hey, so…it’s been a while.
That’s because I finally found my dream man. He’s got gorgeous green eyes and dark hair. He’s sweet, and loves to read. Someday we’ll travel the world together.
I dozed off for a second, sorry, what I meant to say is that’s because I gave up dating for a bit. I took a break, if you will. That’s not because I don’t care about finding the one or don’t want to put in the effort. It’s because time literally got the best of me, and 2016 can officially suck it.
Recently a friend told me I was a person of hope, I laughed, then I cried. Lately I’ve been a big ball of mope, so how could I possibly be a person of hope. “No, seriously, you always have hope”. I hate to tell you, but a couple weeks ago I fell off the hope horse and holy hell did it hurt. It has been weeks of me feeling like I couldn’t do anything right. This week has been a week of trying to hope back on the hope horse, only to get pushed off a few times, but those pushes have nothing to do with dating. So why did I let it get the best of me? Why did I think that because other areas of my life were failing that I became unlovable?
To be honest, I don’t know. My life has been a mess because of one small part. My job. So if anyone who is in need of a kick-ass assistant or nanny or anything basically, let me know 😉 Financially my bank account severely depleted and it took my hope with it. For 8 weeks I have been applying for jobs, and have gotten many a rejection with also some of the biggest job prospects of my life. How did my hopes get attached to fiscal parts of my life? Money doesn’t buy happiness, but it does buy security, right? Or at least allows you to go on a date and be ready to pay for dinner. While not having money for a new car (mine also died) or a trip to Paris is really defeating, not having hope is a much, much worse fate.
This weekend will be our annual Christmas party, and I completely adore Christmas. I’m the best present giver, and this year I couldn’t do that. Christmas is more than gifts, and life is more than a car. This weekend I get to put on a red dress, get dolled up, and spend a holiday filled night with those I love. I get to close out this crappy year surrounded by people who make my life completely happy.
No, I don’t have the job I want. No, I don’t have a car to drive. No, I might not be able to go to Paris. No, I don’t have a boyfriend’s shoulder to cry on. Those situations, those rejections are temporary.
The break has lasted too long.
The break is over.
I still have the most wonderful people in my life, so it proves that I am in fact lovable. Their faith in me gets me back on the horse, and riding high. Actually, I’m to riding high quite yet, but I am back on the horse.
The view from up here is much better, and 2017 already look brighter.
The Single Girl